I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize