The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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