He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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