He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
