so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
