We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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