She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
