just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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