Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize