I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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