Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its not stalking. its research.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
