Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
