I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I want a musical about memes.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
