If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
