i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
