I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize