Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he thought i was a dude.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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