I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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