Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
