at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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