At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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