Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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