sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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