I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
