I'm drive I can fine osifer
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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