seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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