Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
