So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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