your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
