She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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