I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
