it hurts more in the daytime
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am never drinking with the goths again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
