No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So apparently I’m into choking now
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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