I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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