They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize