His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
