your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
no, he came in my armpit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
