Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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