Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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