problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
