Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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