you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
