I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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