My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
