Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
