google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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