the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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