she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize