I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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