clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
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Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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