I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
