porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
