At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The struggles of a small town man whore
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