you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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