its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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