She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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