His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
...so i touched it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.