4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
