This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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