Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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