My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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