i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
